Court Intervenes on Behalf of Child Worried About Being Ridiculed over Her Name
In New Zealand, a couple named their child Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. That's the whole name. From the Talula part all the way through to the Hawaii part. Seriously. So, a court decided to intervene and legally change her name. From the story in the Telegraph:
"A lawyer acting for the girl claimed she was so embarrassed by her name that she had kept it from her friends, insisting she should be known as 'K' instead. She also feared that if it became public she would be mocked and teased.The lawyer claimed the girl fully understood the absurdity of her name, unlike her parents who had not considered the implications when they named her.
Justice Robert Murfitt said the name clearly presented a social hurdle for the child."
Read the rest of the story, too. It's got lots of examples of names that folks have given their kids as well as names rejected by the New Zealand government. I'm also reading a book right now called Bad Baby Names which has some incredibly funny and sad (please don't name your kid Typhus or Rubella) baby naming blunders.
It makes me think of the "Seinfeld" episode where Jerry couldn't remember the name of the girl he was dating and she told him that it rhymed with a female body part. They spent the rest of the episode trying to figure it out. "Mulva?" Turns out it was Delores. It also makes me wonder how I would feel if the government wanted to tell me that I couldn't give my child a name that they didn't approve of. With the last name Brown, I had plenty of choices of odd baby names and being a strange girl with a bizarre sense of humor, some pretty entertaining ones came up during the initial phases of baby name negotiation. In the end, I chose a name that was pretty normal and had significance on both sides of our family. Certainly we won't be having any upcoming days in court over it.
Then I think about that song, "Boy Named Sue," and I wonder if giving your kid a name like Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii might build character or prepare them for some serious adversity that they may face later in life. Maybe they're doing a disservice by changing her name now. But... Nah. What do you think?
Comments
I have a relatively normal English name (Melanie), which didn’t do me any favors while growing up in Puerto Rico, where most people speak Spanish. I hated my name for the longest time, and, like I said, it isn’t that uncommon. I chose to name my daughter Sophia, a very old name that everybody, in every language (pretty much) knows. Hopefully she won’t have the problems I had. I can’t imagine what poor Talula, or any other child with a strange name, goes through nowadays…
I agree with the court. I don’t for one minute think that their intervention was wrong, for the reason that the girl was so utterly embarrassed. If someone had a totally bizarre name, but was proud of it… maybe that would be a different story.
I disagree with the court. No one should have any rights over the parents unless the parents were causing harm to their children. A name does not cause harm. Why didnt the girl who obvously is smart just have people call her Talula or Mary or Jessica? My daughter’s name is Sunshine. Everybody told me that she would be made fun of. It is exactly the opposite. Everybody alwasy tells her how pretty her name is. There was a stage when she was shy, so she called herself Roxanna. She quickly got over it and embraced her identity with her name. And my Mexican grandmothers learned to say her name in English. We let our kids tell us what to do and I think that is more hurtful to them in the long run then letting them deal with a little embarrasement.
I think it’s a slippery slope when the government begins to intervene when we name our children. Where will they stop? A child named Hazel or Gertrude named after family and abhors her name will be able to go to court to change it?
She should have been told to change it when she was 18. She could have gone by a nickname. Every child goes through a stage where they hate their name.
The court just took away a huge amount of authority of those parents and I think will create more rebellious problems for that child in the long run.
There is clearly a difference between Gertrude, Maude, Sunshine, Apple, etc. and “Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii” or whatever they named her. Honestly, what would they end up calling her on a day to day basis or when they are trying to warn her before falling down stairs or running in to the street. Do you think they are going to scream out her entire name at that point–most likely not. It’s an exciting time when you are choosing a name for your offspring. And sometimes, we all think a little crazy, but most of us stop and think about everything that could be made out of our child’s name before we have it put on their birth certificate. It’s not like the court said, ‘there are enough Pam’s in the world, pick another name’. Come on! We get get upset because the court said ‘nope not gonna happen’ on this, but we would be the very ones to ridicule the parents behind their backs for naming Talula so horribly if the court didn’t intervene.
This is actually a case of the child’s rights versus the parents. It’s a tricky area, of course. Most people agree that parents should have the right to raise their children as they see fit, including naming, discipline etc. Most people would agree, however, that kids should not have to live with parents who subject them to physical or emotional abuse. So our first question is whether this name constitutes emotional abuse. The fact that the child in question has an attorney representing her indicates that she believes it does.
Our second question relates to the child’s age. As kids get older, we give the child’s wishes more weight compared to the parents’. For instance, a 13 year old will usually be allowed to choose which parent to live with. A 10 year old would probably be allowed to change her name, if she felt strongly enough to petition the courts, although the law varies in different countries. This girl turns out to be nine.
The final question, of course, is whether the custody battle in which this child is embroiled is influencing her perception of her name. There may be much more involved than we know from this news report.
I hope that my boys with unusually names don’t feel the need to change them b/c we named them car names. Although, I am asked about the “girls” since some think the odd names are “girlie” especially the one over the other. Their names Journey and Summit.
I agree with some of the other comments. This is a legal precedent that could be a slippery rope to new goverment powers and loss of parental rights. Yet from the article, it does seem like that the New Zealand government, which is the country this case is in, does already have such legal powers. I also agree with those who commented that it would be understandable if the child is not proud of the name and considers it as emotionally abuse, for the courts to be able to then intervene. If both the parents and child like a name then I see no harm.
When I named my children I made sure that they were names that wouldn’t cause them embarrassment. Having the name Jo as a girl was okay most of the time, but there were always those remarks about it being a boys’ name. Then I would feel compelled to explain that the difference was in the spelling - it was a girls’name if there was no ‘e’ on the end. My first name, for me, was even worse because it is old-fashioned and is similar to my dad’s name. So, I agree that a child’s name is very important and that the court should be able to intervene if the parent’s refuse to change the name when it affects the child emotionally.
I don’t think that someone should ever intervene in what a parent wants to name their child. They obviously had a reason(even though odd) behind naming her what they did. I think she should just go by a nickname or any name that she likes. When she’s older, who knows?, she may actually find the name amuzing.
Often in the search of a unique name, some people name their children after fruit, cars, & seasons. This is ok but I think there should be a line and I do believe everyone knows where the line is.
Even though I think my daughter is the most beautiful girl in the world, maybe it is not politically correct to name her: The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, think of the consequences, future teachers (soon to be pedophiles) would come home and say Honey, I have The Most Beautiful Girl in the World in my 2nd grade class. My son would have to say his sister is The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. Is there not something wrong with that? I mean think of all the children rivalries.
I think parents should be able to name their children whatever they see fit, but at the same extent if they are forcing a person to carry an embarrasement for 18 years something needs to be done.
They should have left it go at “Talula”. Nothing wrong with that name but they had to add “Does The Hula From Hawaii” was that necessary. They knew they were crossing the line.
I just feel that the courts were trying to help someone who was defenseless. Did you not read the entire story? The girl would never tell her friends her real name, just K. She didn’t want people to make fun of her real name, not just a made up name, her “REAL” name.
Finally Justice
I think in situations where the parents really got carried away and obviously were not thinking of a name in the best interest of the child, yes a child should be able to ask the court to intervene if they feel tormented by the name.
In this case, the parents obviously went too far with something they thought was funny, but were not thinking how hard it would be for their child to have that name all throughout life. (yes - “Talula” would have been fine, but the entire sentence as a name - way too much.)
And as far as building character–there are much better ways to do that than being made fun of every day at school because your parents picked a ridiculous name for you! Lets be real folks. Think of your child when you pick a name. Unique is one thing, but it’s also nice to have a name you can be proud of!! (And don’t have to explain or spell to people everytime you go to school or the doctor.)
I have an extremely unusual name (Myrrh) and I really do love it. My children have unusual (but simple) names. I think there is a huge difference between a name that’s unusual, and a name that seems like it’s meant to be funny or a joke. I think that “Talula does the Hula from Hawaii” falls into the second category.
I agree with the court decision. Some of these names you hear people calling their children, usually celebs, are crazy and the child will have to deal with a huge amount of peer pressure. You can’t put “improper” names on a license tag, and honestly, how does that really harm anyone, so why did they even allow the parents to name their child this in the first place. I feel sorry for the girl, and deep down, she will probably resent her parents forever for the embarrassment they have caused her just because they wanted to be funny–change their own name next time
Anyone who thinks a name does not hurt…should ask those people who DO have a strange name just how much it hurt their self image, made them get teased. Words CAN hurt so naming your kid something weird is a form of emotional/verbal abuse and should be stopped.
OK OK When I picked the names for our children, I went with names that would be easily pronounced by the teacher on the first day of school. We have an often mispronounced last name and I just didn’t see needing to add to my kids troubles. I taught school for several years and children don’t need any help finding something to pick on each other about. I think parents need to keep that in mind when naming their children. Celebrities can use strange names b/c their kids will probably be privately tutored or attend a very swanky school where they all have weird names, but the average parents should be kind to their children. If you have a great idea for an odd name use it as a middle name or come up with a great nick name to use at school. Kids have enough pressure they don’t need to stress over what their parents named them! If we could all do this we wouldn’t have to worry about the government b/c it is a little freaky knowing they can tell me what I can and can not name my kids. That is TOO MUCH big brother for me!
Social justice is not equal to social hurdles! We all would fight for the child’s rights to a decent and secure homelife and for fair and equal justice with the right toseek redress for harm done.
I understand the girl’s embarrassment over her name — we may all have things which cause clear embarrassment in specific circumstances. I must wonder, however.. since my niece constantly complains that her father’s interrogations of her friends and boy friends is embarrassing — well do we now have a clear sign that she can get a court order to have this stopped?
I do worry that one day our children will be studying history and read of an old concept that once held a predominate position in Western ideas — Parent’s Rights.
I agree with the courts. A name that is a silly sentence with six words is not a reasonable name for a child.