Help -- My Child Won't Go Potty in a Public Bathroom
Tuesday August 26, 2008
A mom writes:
"My daughter is 3 years old and has been doing great with potty training so far. When we're in public, however, she will scream and cry and refuse to sit on the potty. She demands a diaper and will go poop in it immediately after I put it on. If I don't give her a diaper she will stand there on the spot and go in her pants. What can I do?"
Not wanting to going potty in public restrooms is a common problem and there are several ways you can handle it. I've got 12 things you can do to get your child pottying in public bathrooms and I hope other readers will chime in below with their take on the situation and what has worked for them.
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Comments
One thing I’ve found with my almost 4 yr old daughter (who has been fully potty trained since age 1 1/2)is that she is scared of the automatic toilets. She carefully inspects the back of the toilet when we go in, asking me to not let it flush. I have to stand behind the toilet and hold my hand over the sensor until she is off and then tell her when I am letting it flush. I also have to pay attention when someone is in the stall next to us and tell her when they are about to get up (I listen for them to get their toilet paper and tell her - they are about to flush next door). It calms her down. On the days that I don’t hold the sensor, as soon as she sits down and hears the toilet start to flush, she will jump up and refuse to go - no matter how bad she was dancing when we got in there. Another tactic I’m trying with my almost 3 yr old (she started training late because of being a preemie) is to “talk” to the toilet. She’ll tell me she has to “plop” and then goes (if she only passes gas, I make a big deal out of being surprised by the sound) and then when she is done and wiped, we say “Bye-bye poopie” before we let the toilet flush. The conversation distracts her and makes it a little more fun.
My daughter hated the automatic toilets also. She would lean forward and they would flush on her. Another mother told me to keep post it notes in my purse and cover the sensor while she pottied. When finished I would let her get out the door before pulling the post it off. The noise from the new toilets scared her a lot.
My two year old is petrified of automatic flush toilets! I now carry a small roll of black electrical tape in my purse. When we encounter an automatic potty, I whip out my “magic” tape and cover the sensor with a little piece. When she’s finished on the toilet, she covers her ears while I remove the tape and let it flush. I’ve heard of people using post-it notes to cover the sensor as well. It’s easier than trying to hold up a freaked out toddler AND try to cover the darn sensor.
Beyond the auto flushing issue…I too noticed that my daughter disliked public restrooms (do we blame them?). She really had no trouble pee-ing but when it came time to #2 - that was a different ballgame. I know this sounds unrealistic but the first thing I did was to use the handi-cap stall (sorry) and just stand away from her and let her have her space. And told her to take her time we’re in “no hurry”. Now if you have a younger sibling I know this is hard. But obviously the least amount of tension she saw the more relaxed she was. Also, even by about 4 1/2 I would set her up in the stall - paper, etc and then stand outside the door so she could relax and concentrate. Your daughter may still be too young for this I understand. Remember, my daughter too hated the auto flush (and to this day looks) but I think if we can get them past the commotion, noise, lets be honest - smells, and keep them focused and calm it seems to help. And always, always make them go potty literaly before you walk out the door! Good luck - it will get better.
Those are such great ideas about the sticky notes and electrical tape. I have no idea why, but the auto flusher gets me every time. I don’t even move and it gets me before I’m done. Imagine you’re a toddler and you don’t know what’s coming!
I had my husband take my daughter to the restroom. Somehow he made it fun for her that she prefered him to me in public until she realized at age 5 her friends didn’t go with Dad. At church, we used the bathroom together.
At daycare, she went with the other little girls, But then again we didn’t have the auto-flush toilets to be there to save water and to work for those people who won’t handle the flush handle. Good luck in your journey to all who have the challenge.
That’s too funny… my 3 year old has no interest in potty training, yet when we’re in public, he asks to use the potty, and does great at it. I wish it was the other way around.
Our little girl was TERRIFIED of big toilets until she saw her friends using a toilet ring at their house. What we did before that was purchase one of the small Baby Bjorn potties (we use the larger one at home) and keep it in the car. We don’t have to use it much now, but we used to run out to the car whenever the time arose and we were away from home. Our daughter thinks it was fun and when she was at the doctor for her 2 1/2 year old appointment, she told her doctor that it was her potty train! She thought that’s what potty trained meant when I asked her to tell her that she was completely PT’d. What a crack-up! We still keep it in the car, and it’s great for those times we’re on road trips or the few times we’re over at a friend’s house and she’s apprehensive of their toilet. In fact, she always thinks it’s a treat to use it.