Question: How Do I Get Friends and Family to Help with Potty Training?
Answer: If you spend any amount of time in the homes of friends or family, or if anyone else is ever in charge of taking care of your child while she is potty training, it's important to get them on board with your plan as soon as possible. Here are some things to discuss:
Potty language and signs
If your child says 'piddle' and 'poo' or if she has a special potty dance that indicates she needs to go, be sure to clue friends and family in on this language and the signs that your child uses when she needs to go to the bathroom. If everyone knows what to look and listen for, then there is less chance for accidents and more chance for success.
How to handle accidents
Take care to explain how you handle accidents. If you have your child help you with clean up and changing, then let others you will be spending time with know. This will allow consistency and alleviate any confusion. It's also a good idea to let others know to be patient and that accidents are handled in stride and not punished. If you come across anyone that is concerned about accidents happening on their furniture, then maybe that's a good time to add a layer of protection, such as pull-ups, plastic pants over underwear or training pants or protective sheets if there is a sleepover.
Equipment
If your child uses a special potty chair or insert for the regular toilet, bring it along and let others know this is what your child is comfortable with. Bring a special bag with changes of clothing and any other items, like dolls, videos and books as well. Explain the significance of these items to anyone that might be present when a potty opportunity occurs.
Rewards
If you reward your child with anything, don't stop just because you're away from home. Bring along the M&M jar or the sticker chart and show others how you use it and explain just what warrants a reward.
Realistic expectations
Above all, make sure that those around you have realistic expectations for your child. If you've been having problems with a relative who thinks your child should be potty trained by now or who thinks you're doing it "all wrong" then it is probably a better idea to avoid visiting this person until your child has better control. Then you won't be tempted to give into pressure and use training methods your child isn't familiar with or that you're not comfortable with. Potty training is a skill that must be learned, so let others know that's how you're handling it, and that you expect them to maintain a positive atmosphere with no shaming as well.
