AFTER BABY ARRIVES
Do not blame the baby for big changes that disrupt your older child's life. If you can't go outside because of the baby's naptime, or if your child has to stay quiet because the baby is sleeping, don't always point out that it's the baby's fault; by doing so, you risk giving your child reasons to resent the baby.
Allow your older child new privileges, such as a later bed time or extended playtime hours.
Let your child overhear you talking about what a great older sibling she is.
Do not try to make your child stay quiet while the baby sleeps. Your baby will adapt to the noise, and your older child's life will be less disrupted.
If you find yourself in the middle of an activity with your older child when your baby begins crying, wait a minute or two before responding to show the importance of what you two have been doing and that your connection to your older child remains strong.
If your child and the baby do not share a room, tell your older child that her room will be off-limits to the baby, and ask her to keep her toys with small parts there. Offer to get a gate to keep the baby out. This way your child does not have to keep her door closed all the time and feel isolated in the process.
Of course, this is only the beginning of the ongoing sibling contention. My husband, an only child, asked me the other day when I thought that Kyle and Brooks (now 13 and 11) would stop fighting with each other. "Gee," I said, "I don't even think that they fight all that much. I have seen much worse." He responded, "You have got to be kidding! Seriously, when will this end?" I reflected and reassured him that at least by their early 30's! But that of course, is the topic of a whole other article!
Stacy DeBroff is a dynamic national speaker, consultant, corporate spokesperson, and writer. Stacy is President and founder of Mom Central, Inc. Stacy has also written several best-selling books on household and family organization including The Mom Book Goes to School, The Mom Book: 4,278 Tips for Moms, Sign Me Up! The Parent's Complete Guide to Sports, Activities, and Extracurriculars, and Mom Central: The Ultimate Family Organizer. Stacy has appeared on network television including NBC's Today Show and the CBS Early Show. Stacy holds a B.A. in Psychology and Comparative Literature from Brown University, magna cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa; and a J.D. from Georgetown University, magna cum laude. Prior to launching Mom Central, Inc., Stacy founded Harvard Law School's Office of Public Interest Advising, which still serves as a model for law schools across the nation. Stacy lives with her husband, Ron, and their two children, 12-year-old Kyle and 11-year-old Brooks, outside of Boston, Massachusetts. Visit Stacy at www.momcentral.com.
(c) Mom Central, Inc. 2006.
