A mom asks:
"My son will be 4 years old soon. He does a great job peeing on the potty and he has gone poop before without any issues. Suddenly, he just doesn't want to use the potty. He wants to keep using his diapers. Should I be concerned about this at his age? I'm getting frustrated and I'm worried that the more I insist he use the potty the worse things get. Sometimes I am downright angry with him because he refuses and just goes and gets a diaper, poops or pees in it and then comes to me for a diaper change. He knows when he needs to go potty and he knows when he's already gone, too. What should I do?"
We don't always like to hear it, but sometimes potty training setbacks and failures have little to do with our toddlers and have a lot to do with our own decisions as parents. In this case, the problem is compound. There are really three possible issues to be addressed here and two of them have little to do with his readiness, skills or abilities. So, let's address these issues one at a time.
- First Ask Yourself: Does Access to Diapers Make the Issue Worse?
- Next Consider: How Can My Own Attitude Make Him More Receptive to Potty Training?
- If That Doesn't Fix the Problem, Dig Deeper to Find Out Why Doesn't He Want to Use the Potty
And, if you'd like to share your experiences with related potty training issues, you can do so here:
My first suggestion would be to stop buying diapers. If he needs something to wear at night for bedwetting graduate to training pants and tell him they are his bedtime only underwear. He should be able to understand that much, also keep them way, way, way out of his reach. Does he like stickers? At 4 my son had similar issues. We started giving him stickers for his succeses, and when he had an accident he would help clean up. No anger, no punishement, it was done in the same manner as picking up toys. He made a mess, now he has to help clean up. At 4 yrs old he’s only one year away from Kindergarden. In school they clean themselves up after an acident.